Hippy Weight Loss Tips
C.B. Malley
The Agency, LLC

What is that one thing everyone has when it comes to losing weight? If you guessed "opinion" you would be close, but now, what everyone has is advice! You'll get your grandmother’s advice, or your neighbor’s recommendation (...er, opinion?) about how you can lose weight fast and easy. It's not a coincidence that weight loss tips are as ubiquitous as all those people looking to lose the weight. Now it’s my turn to spread my wisdom...er, opinion.

Let me tell it to you like everyone else who passes on weight loss tips: Listen to me. Why? ...because I am thin. Firstly, if you’re going to listen to anyone’s weight loss tips, and they are, say, a bit chubby? ...or worse, They look like they’re trying to smuggle a small child around their waist? You may want to pause for a moment and avoid their advice, unless they come clean and admit that have never actually tried “the pomagrante diet” or “the Egyptian water dance diet” themselves.

One of the things you should remember about weight loss advice (well, actually there’s more like Forty “things” to remember), is that everyone has a different motivation and resides in a different body type. So, ultimately, whatever works for Elsie over on Glory Avenue, may not work for Harry down on Shadetree Street. Maybe “Elsie” is only Twenty years old and Harry is Fifty. Or Harry may have had a heart bypass two years earlier. Or maybe Elsie's just plain blessed with her family's great genes.

Okay, Okay, you get the point. So I am going to offer some of my own personal weight loss tips, to add to all the other advice and opinions out there. Just maybe something here will stick with you. Now, I should preface this by saying that absolutely none of this is original, but all of it is absolutely true (you know, just like Aunt Katie's weight loss tips).

First and foremost, above all else...you must drink lots of water. Gallons and gallons of the stuff. This not only keeps your constitution constant (and that really does help trim the fat a bit), but will also raise your metabolism, and ultimately, that is all-important in your quest for losing weight. Further, by drinking water (and that is at least 8-10 tall glasses a day, by Golly!), you are also helping to stave off hunger. By filling your belly with water, you are also informing that part of your brain that keeps screaming “Feeeeeed meee!” that you are already well fed and full.

Additionally, one of my own personal recommendations, albeit different, is to eat a spoonful of mustard every day. I don’t mean those fancy french named "gourmet" mustards that is everyone's favorit (you know, the ones full of mustard seeds, tastes exotic, is loaded with calories, and rips your wallet apart trying to pay for it at the checkout. No, I’m talking about that good ole' vintage bright yellow stuff you knew as a kid. Remember? Seedless, cheap, that ballpark coney type mustard? Yes, "A spoonful a day" will also get the ole’ metabolism going, and that, as they say, "is a good thing." (Now, I must disclose that after eating that yummy mustard, you may just want to avoid close contact with your "significant other" as your breath will be enough to send your pets running for cover. Just make sure to brush your teeth or pop a small breath mint right afterwards.)

Finally, I'll share a bit of advice my grandmother gave me as a young girl...“Get into good eating habits when you are younger, hon. That way, you won’t have to worry about becoming fat like me.” I followed that advice, and while she died overweight, I am as thin today as when I was a young girl in school. Chances are, you are probably already an adult reading this, but remember, if you remember that this life is not a dress rehearsal. Begin living your dreams and achieving your goals today, and you too will become much thinner sooner than you think. That's my big tip (er, advice?) for the day. Bon A'Petit!